Home » personal » MY LONG FORGOTTEN SELF…

MY LONG FORGOTTEN SELF…

i went out with my little cousins yesterday…i wanted to share a picture of me with one of my most favourite cousin

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the one wearing a pink shirt…her name is Viddhi…shes 13 years old…shes damn cute, childlike, girly, happy, and fun…and she tries to follow my footsteps…in most simple words, whenever i look at her, i find my long forgotten self staring back at me…when i was of her age, i was exactly like the way she is now…i mean, whenever i meet her, i cant help but wonder about how much she resembles me…resembles me  the way i was when i was 13, when i didnt know the meaning of the word unhappy…this girl’s always happy, life is nothing but a  ride full of fun for her, the way it used to be for me…whenever i visit her home, her grandmother comes out and greets me in the same way that my grandmother used to greet her when she came to my place…she talks with her grandmother in the same way as i used to talk to mine,and fights with her in the same way that i used to fight with mine…it literally brings tears to my eyes when i watch both of them quarrel with each other over mundane things…afterall, i used to quarrel with my grandmother in much the same way… since my grandmother’s death a few months ago, ive stopped visiting her home…i cant bear to watch them anymore…. they say that when your unhappy with your life, you wish unhappiness in other people’s live’s too…i can bet that they are damn right…a while back, when everything was crashing down bit by bit, my thoughts pushed me against the wall and i had no one but myself to turn to for some solace, she made a visit to my house and i, i wished unhappiness for her…i wished  her fun ride to come to an end…and thats when i knew that i was becoming selfish…looking back at it now, i wonder how could i have wished something for a child like her!…

she wishes to grow up and become like me… i only wish she wouldnt  undergo the torture  of the thoughts that i went through, she wouldnt have to undergo the kind of lonliness and aloneness that i went through…my life can never be how it was when i was of her age…but through her, i see that bygone self of mine once again coming to life….if not in me, then in her…

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